Monday, August 3, 2009
15 more days and my baby Cayenne will turn one! I spent the whole day blogging and hanging out with her. She is quite the copy cat full of tricks. Blowing kisses, clapping hands, refusing things that she dislike, dancing when she hears her favorite music, and the best part, giving juicy kisses. Just when I thought I am getting bored with motherhood, there comes a curve ball. I found myself starting to talk to her and she looks at me like she understands. Instead of lets play with the ball, now I have to say lets throw the red ball. She is addicted to Cbeebies from BBC, there is a lot of positive programs, talking about friendships, dancing and learning about animals. I caught myself watching with her as well. There are actually quite a number of kids channel, Baby TV, Disney, Nic..the lists goes on. I think they are all good, but for Cayenne being so active and need constant stimulation, Cbeebies works for her. She has no interest with Baby TV, I think because their cartoons are too slow and soft for her. She likes jumpy music and also looking at kids play. I am not too sure if I like Disney yet, their theme seems to evolved around princesses and fairy tales. I am not sure if I like the dreamy part of things and teaching her about the whole princess world. Why do one want their kids to feel like a princess??? I really don't get that. Can someone explain that to me? I was never brought up as a princess, maybe that's why I don't get it.
Now that Cayenne really is registering knowledge in her brain, I have to be careful of what I teach her and what not to let her get away with. Like all of a sudden, she hates everything with straps. Car seats, high chair, strollers...O G she is one active little monkey. Other kids stay nicely in their high chair, but Caye manages to crawl out of the high chair and climbed onto the table. Not sure if that is teachable. But then, her monkey strength is what I admire about her too. She is strong at an early age. At two months, she already wants to stand. She doesn't like to sit unless we folded her legs and make her sit. She wants to walk, and now boy can she climb and crawl. On the couch, off the couch, all day long if I let her.
Before I have Cayenne, I always think, my dogs are more or like kids, they eat, wine, poop, make a mess, want to snuggle and know when they did something wrong. But with Cayenne, I now understand my responsibility just got bigger. I cannot let her see the ugly side of me, she will copy, she will learn and she will take advantage of me if I let her. She is already copying me and I just don't know it!
I have never heard of the concept of Art Jam until I moved back to HK. Bonart is the company that I used( highly recommended ). They bring all the things like paint, brushes, canvas, easels and all the special tools. The best part is, no clean up. So all you need to do is just to show up and paint your hearts out. The first time we had a bunch of friends at my house and I did and 7 course dinner with champagne and the second time we did it at my mom's gallery for an afternoon tea Jam session. It was truely an experience. Looking at how people paint and using different tools, people's true charactor really comes out. Family portraits, pets, daughters, smiley faces, abstract scenery, rain drops, letter Cs, favorite colors, so many different styles and thoughts. If you want to know them well, just ask them to paint with you and you will see what they care about.
I have always been scared about painting. The first time, I was really worried and scared of making the wrong moves. Is this color right, should I do this first or I should use this brush. I guess it was the unknown that caught me off guard. But then, the second time, I felt a lot more at ease. Free flow painting is always difficult, what do you really want to say, how should you say it and what people will think about it.
But with all the expression and looking at what other people painted, you really find out that art does not have a form. It is what you feel at that moment. You might not like what you painted, but others might think it is impressive. It is not like a conversation, you said something and you forget about it. When you paint on a canvas, it is perminent, unless you burn it, it will stay with you forever. It is a diary of your thoughts with colors and imaginations. Every time you paint, is different from the last, leaving you much room to desire for the next.
Painting is also risk taking. Kinda like daily lifes, should you do this first and then add this or should you jump right in to the hardest part of the painting. Do you second guess your decision? I wanted to paint flowers with long grass, but it didn't come out the way I wanted it, should I paint it all over again or how do I add something to cover up my tracks? This is all that went through my mind. Painting, is drama, is scary, is risky, is remembering, is releasing, is relaxing, is imagining, is an expression, is life!